is wine microwaveable?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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