guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
