just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
