The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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