the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
