Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
