i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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