i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
