You made me cry and you don't even care
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
