doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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