We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Randomize
