Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Terrible idea I love it
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
