I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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