**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize