dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
