Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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