just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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