I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm both gender and math confused
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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