PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
