What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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