your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
