Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
