do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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