I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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