i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
