It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
