Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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