I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
