wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
