you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
