my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
