i don't like sucking hair
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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