is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
