Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
