Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
