You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
