So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
