YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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