woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
