the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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