what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
