Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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