does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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