now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
