At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
