don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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