Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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