im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
