He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
