I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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