that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
