"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
We named our party play list daddy issues
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
