before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
