hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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