Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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