Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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