Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
